Hello All,
I am in a very tricky situation and any insight guidance would be super helpful! I have spent at least 5000 dollars on psychics since beginning of this year and now the situation is such that I don't think they can help and I need some normal common sense advice!
Background-So, I have liked a guy for two years, we are co-workers and have dated him twice, and have been in a FWB situation twice, so in past two years we have connected 4 times outside work. It starts and then he just pulls away, we stay amicable and friends at work because I do have feelings for him and obviously don't want to make things awkward at work. Moreover, I get into this situation knowing he doesn't want anything serious, maybe somewhere hoping that we will start loving me too. I have never felt the way I have felt for this guy. I knew myself to be the most practical person on this planet and I have broken up before(in my late 20s) and have moved on like a breeze, but this time I went into depression over something which was not even a relationship to begin with, it was and is excruciatingly painful even after two years, though it's better now after I spent good last 18 months working on myself, letting go, acceptance and what not (meanwhile going on and off with him).
Situation now--
Last year November he pulled away again, basically just making excuses-- if I will ask him to hangout, either he will hangout for a super short time or not at all and he got super busy with work, so I figured maybe I should just let go and decided to not ask him again to hangout because by then I had been working on myself so I loved myself a little more and had better self esteem to not go and beg.
( side note- I think it has been a good lesson, he came into my life for a reason, which has helped me tremendously grow spiritually, personally and just trusting more in universe and God).
Anyway, in January I am not sure how but I got into calling psychics, but man o man, they should have a hotline for helping people addicted to psychics. I called every psychics listed on this forum and more. Keen, CP, Hollywood Psychics, LifeReader, Psychic Encounters, Psychic Source, Kasamba, AskNow, Oranum, Purple Ocean, Bitwine, Fiverr, MeetyourPsychic, Zodiac Psychics, StarzPsychic and other psychics who work on their own (Yona, etc.).. and call 100s of psychics on each of these forum. (Just writing the name of forums is eye opening for me)
I was spending all my time doing that, asking about his feelings, if there is any future for us, if not for us then what's for me and etc.
Judi, Zadalia, Fairie Moon, LOLight and 200+ many more said he is developing feelings for me and I should see something in May --nada!!
I guess that was also because I was spending too much energy on thinking about him and outcomes. But I guess there comes a point in life where you just get tired of being treated like crap. I got some readings in early May and then stopped because there was no point.
Readers who said I will see something in June-
Lotus of Light - very accurate in picking how I will be feeling, she said he likes me but I am not sure about his feelings.
Annie Heaven- Said I will see something on June 15th.
Guy asks me if I want to hook up with him on June 15th. coincidence?
Jade8948, Keiry, Celtic Moon- mentioned June too
Psychic Stasha, KAra Jane, Wisdom (PE), Faery Hawk, Liza Sees, Treu Destiny, Yvonne, and 100+ many more also said something that I will something in June, July August.
Kisha was strange for me, some of it resonated, but she said she didn't see any connection with him, but we do have a connection now, although the other part about having clarity seems to be going on for me.
Micah in April said he saw something in June and to trust the process as he can be a potential.
Tara from CP thought he is my soulmate and that I will see a change in Summer.
Yona- saw flirting but that's it and then a new guy coming in August. Said Damian would fizzle out.
Diane731- saw us connecting, see outside work but said will remain distant, emotionally unavailable.
CindyS - Said he and I will get closer again but no stability.
Ovalley, Fairie Moon, Sweethearts Tarot and soooooo many others they told me nothing would change and they see someone with him.
Actually when Sweethearts Tarot said she sees a third party who is a fire sign, I thought she is talking about me, lol.
All the readers even who have said I will see something from him in June, have clearly said that he is very slow, not ready for commitment any time soon but that might change, not my only option as I will have other people coming up and if I choose him then it will be a slow thing because he has too much stress and fear around him (I know that for a fact is true, he has worked 80 hours/wk in past 6 months).
They have also said that he has feelings but not as strong and they are developing and he wanted to focus on his life first so he pulled away (I know sounds like a stock answer but that's what they said).
Back to my original story and question. So, this guy now just randomly asks me to hook up with him. I say yes because I like it and i guess somewhere I am hoping that something might happen, but at this point I am not so sure if he ever will change and I fear I am wasting my time and feelings. It's heart-breaking for me but I guess I still don't want to say no in that flickering hope.
I am not sure what they see when they say he will come forward more, or they see more communication, or a 'soulmate'.. If it's just asking to hook up more number of times, then I am thinking of just telling him that it's coming in my way of letting him go(he knows I like him), but if it can be something more than that then I am willing to wait. I don't see any feelings though. He is a great person and friend, we have connected at so many levels in past 2.5 years, but now I am just getting tired and maybe he just likes to sleep with me, and I don't see or feel anything beyond that.
We do have a very good comfort as friends so I am just too confused if I should say something to him now? or wait? or just go with the flow, meaning do the FWB thing as long as I like it but I am afraid it won't let me move forward..
Please don't judge me:) and sorry this is so long but any insight would be appreciated.
Thanks!