Do any of you think your POI may not come back?

[Rediska]

There were times when I honestly thought he wouldn't, and so far... our story keeps continuing. Just last week we probably had the biggest heart to heart we've had in ...a year? a year and a half? and he actually said he's ready to take things forward among a bunch of other stuff I'm still not really entirely sure I believe really happened, even though I partook in the conversation lol. It hasn't happened yet, it's still "talk" and he has "mancaved" since then, so who knows (eye roll).

Just wanted to say thank you for your post!

Think it finally gave me the push I needed to contact my POI

I was just so sick of waiting on all these contact predictions when I strongly felt as if I needed some answers to where we were and what was going on seeing as he disappeared for an entire month after telling me that he'd "speak very soon" with me.

And I'm so glad that I did. I called him up after a date I went on tonight (lol) and we chatted for over 2 hours.

While nothings changed - I did get some more answers and after waiting so long to hear it he finally said "I love you" to me.

What was his reason for disappearing?

That he at first assumed that I would know that he needed more space/time to sort his mess out

But then that he saw my profile on dating apps combined with my social media posts he thought that I was just doing super fine and moving forward fast and didn't want to hear from him

Please tell me that some of these readers knew what the issues were regarding him when you called? did any of them get it right.

[Rediska]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

I definitely agree with this. But I have also had men who kept me in "limbo" intentionally by "disappearing." They do this so they don't fully close the door on you "just in case." I found out its because in reality they are emotionally unavailable.

[ladya]

I agree with the above comment. If you're not hearing from a guy for more than a week there's something wrong. A simple hello isn't that hard to send no matter what's going on unless it's something serious.

[Baypark1]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

Although I do agree, there are exceptions.  One guy I went out with for 1 month until he told me there was someone else he had met around the same time as me.  He chose her.  A month isn't a long time at all to get attached,  but I could not get this guy out of my heart.  I started calling psychics and they said he would be back.  It was 9 months later he came back.  So it does happen.  But I think detaching and trying to move on helps.

[Rediska]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

Although I do agree, there are exceptions.  One guy I went out with for 1 month until he told me there was someone else he had met around the same time as me.  He chose her.  A month isn't a long time at all to get attached,  but I could not get this guy out of my heart.  I started calling psychics and they said he would be back.  It was 9 months later he came back.  So it does happen.  But I think detaching and trying to move on helps.

That gives me hope Baypark what made him come back to you is that "what if?" that was on the back of mind. And assuming he was no longer with the other woman.

[Baypark1]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

Although I do agree, there are exceptions.  One guy I went out with for 1 month until he told me there was someone else he had met around the same time as me.  He chose her.  A month isn't a long time at all to get attached,  but I could not get this guy out of my heart.  I started calling psychics and they said he would be back.  It was 9 months later he came back.  So it does happen.  But I think detaching and trying to move on helps.

That gives me hope Baypark what made him come back to you is that "what if?" that was on the back of mind. And assuming he was no longer with the other woman.

The truth is I always felt 2nd best,  2nd choice and I loved him far more than he loved me. We ended up being together for 2 years and he was the one that ruined me emotionlly, spiritually and financially. So maybe there is something to that Idea that if someone leaves your life, there's a reason and they don't need to come back.

[Rediska]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

Although I do agree, there are exceptions.  One guy I went out with for 1 month until he told me there was someone else he had met around the same time as me.  He chose her.  A month isn't a long time at all to get attached,  but I could not get this guy out of my heart.  I started calling psychics and they said he would be back.  It was 9 months later he came back.  So it does happen.  But I think detaching and trying to move on helps.

That gives me hope Baypark what made him come back to you is that "what if?" that was on the back of mind. And assuming he was no longer with the other woman.

The truth is I always felt 2nd best,  2nd choice and I loved him far more than he loved me. We ended up being together for 2 years and he was the one that ruined me emotionlly, spiritually and financially. So maybe there is something to that Idea that if someone leaves your life, there's a reason and they don't need to come back.

Okay, screw him.

[Baypark1]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

Although I do agree, there are exceptions.  One guy I went out with for 1 month until he told me there was someone else he had met around the same time as me.  He chose her.  A month isn't a long time at all to get attached,  but I could not get this guy out of my heart.  I started calling psychics and they said he would be back.  It was 9 months later he came back.  So it does happen.  But I think detaching and trying to move on helps.

That gives me hope Baypark what made him come back to you is that "what if?" that was on the back of mind. And assuming he was no longer with the other woman.

The truth is I always felt 2nd best,  2nd choice and I loved him far more than he loved me. We ended up being together for 2 years and he was the one that ruined me emotionlly, spiritually and financially. So maybe there is something to that Idea that if someone leaves your life, there's a reason and they don't need to come back.

Okay, screw him.

I think we all deserve someone who puts a first,  doesn't bail when things get tough or because they're not ready or emotionally unavailable.  But we get sucked in with the wrong men.  Ugh

[Rediska]

I agree. However, we also have to do some major soul searching work and ask ourselves why we are into crappy men in the first place and what does this say about our own characters. Is it desperation? a "challenge?" etc?  I tend to go for ones who are emotionally unavailable because I myself am this way. Then I get attached...

Part of the reason why I am clinging on to this person is because he told me verbally there was a possibility he would call me once he moved to another state. He basically forced me into limbo. I should've hung up on him right then and there but I didn't and here I am..almost 7 months later wondering.I have ZERO control unlike most of the posters here. By the way, my situation is abnormally complicated because there is another person involved. He would basically at this point give everything up just to be with me-hence why he told me he may touch base with me. I have to appreciate his honesty but at the same time I loath it as well. That's why when O Vally said, "okay, he likes you but you're basically on the backburner. Are you in a relationship? I am not sensing you're in one at all with him." Jackpot.

[ladya]

I agree. However, we also have to do some major soul searching work and ask ourselves why we are into crappy men in the first place and what does this say about our own characters. Is it desperation? a "challenge?" etc?  I tend to go for ones who are emotionally unavailable because I myself am this way. Then I get attached...

Part of the reason why I am clinging on to this person is because he told me verbally there was a possibility he would call me once he moved to another state. He basically forced me into limbo. I should've hung up on him right then and there but I didn't and here I am..almost 7 months later wondering.I have ZERO control unlike most of the posters here. By the way, my situation is abnormally complicated because there is another person involved. He would basically at this point give everything up just to be with me-hence why he told me he may touch base with me. I have to appreciate his honesty but at the same time I loath it as well. That's why when O Vally said, "okay, he likes you but you're basically on the backburner. Are you in a relationship? I am not sensing you're in one at all with him." Jackpot.

WOWWWWWW - all i have to say. i completely agree. it took me a long time to realize why i attract the men i attract. It's definitely a mix between a challenge and because i myself am emotionally unavailable. i have a deep fear of commitment and will never be the first to admit my feelings i don't care what how much i'm in love with the person. We attract mirrors more than we think - sometimes we just don't like what stares back at us.

[peppie]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

I definitely agree with this. But I have also had men who kept me in "limbo" intentionally by "disappearing." They do this so they don't fully close the door on you "just in case." I found out its because in reality they are emotionally unavailable.

yes, and that is not the man you want. a man who does this is weak and furthermore doesn't really want you (not "you" you, but in general). we women need to rule this men out as not quality men (or at least not ready and not worth our time).

[peppie]

Part of the reason why I am clinging on to this person is because he told me verbally there was a possibility he would call me once he moved to another state. He basically forced me into limbo. I should've hung up on him right then and there but I didn't and here I am..almost 7 months later wondering.

If a man tells me there is a possibility he would call me... I would say "ohhhhh great! great catching up" and dump his arse without telling him I've done so (just stop responding and certainly never contact him again). He either comes running back realizing what a dumba$$ he's been or i've saved myself a load of crap. This type of behavior is a favor. Thank you for showing me who you are and early on so I don't have to waste more time on you.

What a man says matters not. What he does speaks volumes.

-Learned again the hard way (and many $$ later)

[transplantnurse]

I read this posts and I just feel sad because women shouldn't have to chase ,communicate first simply put like the posts here if he wants you he will come after you ..very few of us very few will end up with happily ever after with the men we talk to about psychics because men who are into us it's simple we know..Looking back at my notes I have almost never asked about a man who I know is interested in me ..My mother told me if you have to question a mans love devotion for you then it probably isn't there !The money we spend on psychics would be spent with a shrink to help someone figure out why they date a certain type or why we are emotionally unavailable..I hate to say this we console each other say he isn't shit etc but given another woman your so called pain is the perfect man so he isn't the right one for you ..granted not everyone meets a man dates commit engaged wedded bliss this is the norm not the exception .Ladies lets see the situation as it is .
Blessings

[transplantnurse]

if it's more than two weeks, assume he's not coming back. only a handful of readers said nope not happening about a few relationships i asked about. the rest gave me a fairy tale.

if it's the right guy, it should be easy and we shouldn't be left guessing is my assertion. i still don't mind being deceived for a few days if i'm in a bad moment in life, though. but when i snap out of it, i hate being lied to and hate that readers give false hope.

exceptions:
he lost his job
he just started a job
a family member, including a dog died
he has a work or school deadline
he just got a divorce

other than that, no guy with his sh*t together is going to give up something very good and leave it hanging for weeks on end.

if he comes back, great, but if he leaves... time to move on.

-learned the hard way (and yes, every guy was "the one" according to some readers... not)

I definitely agree with this. But I have also had men who kept me in "limbo" intentionally by "disappearing." They do this so they don't fully close the door on you "just in case." I found out its because in reality they are emotionally unavailable.

Lol it means they aren't into you ..

[FaithnTrust]

That's exactly what it means Transplant!! It's only our ego that says otherwise and keeps us hoping and waiting.
People - think of every person in your life that is in a long term, successful relationship ! Besides normal disagreements and maybe a
break up that lasts a few days, you'll notice that their man doesn't disappear. They don't stop calling or stop wanting to be around their
POI. To argue otherwise is just keeping yourself in a safe bubble, which will also keep you from moving on, letting go and living your life.
A MAN IN LOVE DOES NOT DISAPPEAR! It's a painful, brutal truth. Feel the pain - save your money - and move on knowing that he lost the best thing he'll ever know