Hi everyone,
Although I have recently just joined this forum, its time for me to tell my story. This is purely for my own cathartic reasons that I feel the need to tell share my story as its very part of my healing process.
So I have been a Keen.com user pretty much since it's inception! I actually joined in the year 2000, and I believe it kicked off in 1999, at the age of 21. So I have 16 years of experience with that website, and their advisors and have seen many advisors actually come and go and some have been there since the beginning, so as much as it pains to me to type this, I have had readings at some point along the line, I would say with 80% of advisors. To say that I am an addict would be an understatement. I have tried two times before to kick my habit, closing down my account only a few weeks / months later to fall back in to the same rut by creating a new account and continue to feed the delusional side of myself.
So how will today be any different? Today is the third time I have closed down my keen.com account and I truly believe I am done. As I live in Australia, and with the US dollar being quite a big stronger, the money I have spent on psychic readings runs into the tens of thousands of dollars. I would be a rich woman had I kept that money in the bank. Sadly my story is no different to the many that have typed before me on this site and or other psychic addiction support sites such as (psychic junkie). But I feel my is slightly worse, because the levels I would go to get my "hit".
So with living in Australia, and the time difference, it often means staying up really late or getting up really early to catch the so called decent advisors, which for all those years I would get so little sleep. I remember in the early days, I would be up sometimes at 2am just to get a reading or to keep checking my place in the queue to ensure the reader was still online and taking calls. Oooh I am next, better stay up!
How ridiculous is this??
Also, I can honestly say, that there were times that the psychics did help me with my ex and in our marriage, but I can also honestly say that is was by and large more detrimental. It got to the stage where I would be talking to all these advisors about our marriage problems and the one person I should of been talking to was my husband.
So here I am ....
Closing my account was the easy part, its what comes next is where the hard graft will be. Dealing with those unwanted anxious feelings, but what would advisor x say about this man, and what would advisor y tell me about my job/friend/family member and whatever question I have put to them in the past. I feel that part of the addiction, is not just the validation that a reader with any talent gives you, its that fist pump moment when an advisor will tell you that a positive outcome looms and low and behold, it bloody well does. And in those rare moments the situation plays out just how advisor x had predicted, and there in lie the problem For me, I feel that's where the lure has been so dangerously enticing.
So Where I am today??? I feel I took the steps to take back my POWER. I am a single mother with a child, and the reality is that I cant even afford to take him to the fun attractions that he would like to and should be able to go to because yet again I have blown a load of money down the drain this month on a bunch of readings. So today I took a stand, and its not even for me. Its for my child, because I cant sit here another second and allow this dysfunctional behavior to continue and not give my child the fun and good times they deserve.
So there you go. Not exactly a warm and uplifting post but a definite positive one. For now,I am going to work on me as I feel I need to redesign my life. Give my child the life they deserve, go off and have a life of my own and do some self development.
I am not going to delete this account just yet as I would like to help/talk to others who are in the same place as I am. If anyone is interested, perhaps we could start a facebook group???
Thanks for Reading.
S2C
