Author Topic: Update  (Read 4555 times)

Offline Baypark1

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Update
« on: September 30, 2016, 05:20:25 AM »
I have a not so good update on my POI, 

To give a little background, his son and my son are best friends.  He was in a relationship that was toxic and she's in jail for domestic abuse.  They broke up early part of June.  He and I started being friendly and became very close.  Late July we stepped over the line to friends with benefits.  All along he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to take it a day at a time and let it just be.  I was ok with that for a while because I could tell he was starting to have feelings and of course, so was I.  He was also hanging out with a woman who he was not attracted to at all but enjoyed her company.  She brought over food all the time and obviously had ulterior motives which I saw but he didn't.  Fast forward a little and I started to have more and more feelings.  We connected very deep and would talk for hours about us and relationships etc.  So, early September, I had an insecure moment and went off on him thinking he was lying to me and using me.  It wasn't nice.  I told him the next day when we talked that I realized I still had a lot of fear and insecurities plus trust issues because of my past relationship and realized I still needed to do some work on me.  From that moment on, he became silent.  I left him alone.  I finally asked him if we could talk 2 weeks later.  He then told me he only wanted friends, good friends and that the timing was just off. He couldn't do the emotional stuff.  So, I left him alone again.  He had told me early on that he had signed up on a dating site but thought it was a joke and rarely got on there.  Well, in the last week, I found the site he was on and he's active.   Every single advisor told me this guy had deep feelings for me, that he loved me but needed time, he was confused that he wanted a relationship but just couldn't right now.  Give it 2 weeks and he'll start moving forward they said.  All of them said middle of September to Mid October.  I've read with every advisor mentioned on this board.  I've been obsessing and calling ALOT. I've spent more money than I'm willing to admit and am quite embarassed actually.  I've read with every single one of the "best" ones and they all said the same thing. 

Today, I found out that he was actually on a date this evening.  Well, that was it.  I texted him and told him he was an asshole like my past boyfriend and even though he knew my fears and insecurities, he still did what the other asshole did.  He fed me a bunch of bullshit lies about how he adores me etc but couldn't do a relationship and deal with the emotions only to get in my pants.  I then blocked him from my phone. 

There were 3 people out of at least 20 advisors that I spoke to that said there would be no forward movement.   Those were:

Rose of Angels - he doesn't want to be deeply involved with anyone and to let him go

Queen of Cups 18 - he was crazy about me and I was the perfect woman for him,  but was focusing on work and finances and couldn't give anything to me and there would no forward movement

Scott Angel - he was brutal but he laid it out there.  I just refused to listen to him because he was the ONLY one that said what the real truth was:  He was interested but relationship was not his focus.  If someone is along for the ride, it's ok.  He was on the recovery road and wouldn't rush.  He was good to enjoy me but not fully invested.  Good for casual dating but nothing more.  Finances were his biggest challenge.  He would take me or leave me.  He saw me as killing time. Earliest to see any change would be the holiday's if I'm available. He enjoyed me because i was light and easy and no drama. He said there could be something more if he was emotionally healthy but to open myself to not waiting and I deserved more. He said he would come back around guaranteed and to put it on pause

Here's the flat out honest truth.  I knew in my gut that what Scott said was true.  I knew it before I started calling.  I just didn't listen.

This is my third round with psychic readings.  The first round, I called maybe 7 or 8 but only once.  I didn't obsess over the readings.  I was borderline obsessing about the man, but not the readings.  We had a strong connection and I just couldn't shake him.  All of the psychics said he would come back in the Spring of 2013.  He did.  March 1 and we officially started dating March 25.  We were together 2 years. 

The 2nd round was last December when I met a guy that again, I couldn't shake. I did call alot of psychics but not nearly what I have been calling.   Every advisor said he was coming back and that he was scared, or busy or had family issues etc.  The reality was he met a girl in March and is still dating her.

And now round 3 of which you know the ending,

Here's my take on this.  Obviously, I choose the wrong men.  Lesson #1  Any man that turns his back and leaves, let him GO.  Do NOT hang on to them.  Do NOT call psychic after psychic to see if he's coming back.  If a man doesn't give you the time of day, he's NOT coming back. If a man shuts the door, he's NOT coming back,  If a man lies to you, cheats on you etc, he's never going to change, do NOT TAKE him back!  LET HIM GO!   Lesson #2  IF you call psychics, continue to live your life and don't obsess.  Let it GO and live your life.  If the man is going to come back and they say so, then he will but ONLY if you let him go.  This is the difference in round 1 compared to rounds 2 and 3.  I honestly, 100% believe, that calling all the time, daily in my instance, prevents them from coming back because the energy is pushing them away.  I could be wrong, but the proof is in the pudding.    Lesson #3  If all psychics say the same thing and you have one or two that tell you different, go with the one that is telling you different.  I don't understand it and can't make sense out of it but I'll be damned if it's not a fact.   With round 2, there was one or 2 that said he wasn't coming back.  The rest said he was. 

I have some suggestions to do in place of readings.  I've done both and they helped me and I plan on going back to doing these things.  #1 Manifesting/Law of Attraction  Lanie Stevens has an awesome way of doing this, however, the key is to learn to let go.  She got her ex back after a year of doing her technique on him.  But she lived her life as she was doing it.  She has a forum and the women are awesome.  You can do her technique on any area of your life  #2 Rory Raye has some amazing relationship CD's.   She gives some awesome suggestions and tools on how to deal with men to get them to basically be at your beck and call.  Some of the stuff is a little out there, but for the most part, the stuff works. 

Think of it this way.  If we are in our own power and secure and happy in our own lives, letting go completely, working and focusing on ourselves, then we won't have any need to call a psychic to see if a man is coming back because we will be OK if he doesn't.  I have let these men take my power away, my focus away from me.  By doing that, I've lost alot of money, time and energy on some asshole that doesn't appreciate the amazing person that is standing in front of him.  I refuse to do it ever again. 

So, that's my story.  I'm giving up, letting go and saying goodbye to all of the psychic bullcrap.  I hope some of you that are doing what I was doing, will also take control and stop giving your power away. It's harder than hell to do.  But enough is enough. 

Lovefash67

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Re: Update
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2016, 10:20:56 AM »
Wow bay park! I'm so sorry you had to go through this and if you need anyone to talk to you can pm me. It's crazy how we get an answer to our situation as the time frame deadline comes closer. It's the guys loss it can be hard to see it now but eventually want you start to feel better you'll notice he fucked up and not you . You sound like a very smart lady now you can take the time and do things that you love to do. Pretty much psychics suck they either good to see how some one is feeling or practically not at all. I'll look into the laws of attraction. I think you Leo and faith really showed me psychic reading is not worth it.

Offline Itsmylife

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Re: Update
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2016, 10:47:33 AM »
Hey Baypark, So sorry to hear about your situation. Its tough sometimes and so hard togo on. But please do not ever lose faith in yourself. it is obvious the guy just wanted to have some nice time with no strings attached. This is why when you mentioned your trust isdues, he kinda backed off as he knew he wasn't being fair to you.  You deserve BETTER. Someone who respects you, loves you and proud to show you off as HIS. I think when a man is in love it is SO obvious that we dont EVER need psychics. Men are so simple, by nature problem solvers and doers and go getters. If he loves her.... he will tell her and pursue her and never let go of her. Men are manipulating even in this extent. He will make sure WE KNOW. He will take all necessary steps to ensure his woman is satisfied. I have learned through my failed relationships.... IF HE WANTS YOU, HE WILL TELL AND PERSUE.Men are this simple. i am not talking about cheaters, game players or crazy maniacs. i know for the most parts 99% cases, an ex will NOT return-NOt the way we want. But we still believe he will return and start calling psychics... who may predict HE WILL BE BACK but FAIL to see the ultimate outcome that it's already done.
For most part of my life (not always though). i have considered dead relationships as deceased people who are never going to be back the only option we have is to let it go and heal.
I hope you feel better soon. And i am sure you will find someone as wonderful as YOU ARE.
HUGSSSSS

Offline Baypark1

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Re: Update
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2016, 02:47:23 PM »
You both are so right!  He texted me, even though I blocked his calls I guess he can still text.  Anyway, he said I was wrong in my accusations and it was offensive.  I'm sorry, but actions speak a lot louder than words.  He said we will definitely talk.....ummm probably not :)   I'm one of the nicest and most giving and trusting people on the planet but once I feel used and abused, and it takes me some time to get there, I'm done.  Unless someone is willing to work for me at this point, I'm done.  They would have to  prove to me by their actions and big time prove it, but every person I've cut off, be it a friend or love, has never worked at it, so they don't get allowed back. 

@ Loveflash67  Definitely check out Lanie Stevens.  Her books are like $3 and she's awesome.   She is so sweet and down to earth, she even responds to private messages.  It's a great little support group and a lot of women are trying to get their ex back, but what happens is they get so strong and start living, they don't care anymore. 

Thank you both for your support.  You're awesome!

Offline Baypark1

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Re: Update
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2016, 04:09:48 PM »
"i have considered dead relationships as deceased people who are never going to be back the only option we have is to let it go and heal.
I hope you feel better soon. And i am sure you will find someone as wonderful as YOU ARE. (I am inserting you ALL)HUGSSSSS"

This is the most intelligent, sane, authentic, and real statement I have read here.  I have been reading for months, and this is truly powerful because IT IS THE TRUTH!  I have learned it is never the other person, "he" reacts the way he does because I am the way I am.  We can only change ourselves, never another.  I am only just learning this, and your reply to the opening poster hit my soul.  Thank you for this from my heart. 

My mom has always said, "God never says "no" he says, "not now, I have something better." I am trying my best to follow this in all areas of my life.  Gratitude makes the world, the ex, the one who doesn't consider you the one all better and much more okay, at least for me.  Thank you ALL as you all help more than you know.

I read a book last year called "you can heal your life" by Louise  Hay.  She makes you dig deep to figure out why you allow the certain type of people in your life.  It's pretty deep but it opened my eyes to how I felt about myself and why I allowed people to treat me the way the did.  I think I need to go back and do it again LOL   

Offline FaithnTrust

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Re: Update
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2016, 03:31:26 PM »
I learned a long time ago to listen to what your man is TELLING YOU, this is where the truth lies... NOT with these readers! This guy sounds like he has been as honest with you as he can be. Listen to him! These readers are only soothing your ego. I've been there....I know!

Offline Bella

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Re: Update
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2016, 09:29:45 PM »
Very true Faith...very true.

 

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