I wish I didn't cut things off with him but honestly I was just so scared that he was going to break up with me again. I couldn't help but to panic so I told him that we needed time apart so that he can figure out what he really wants.
This sounds so familiar. My ex kept panicking and saying maybe we should just be friends and shutting me out. I was afraid he would shut me out permanently. Then one day I just said "I can't do this anymore" and everything fell apart from there. I didn't mean to end things but I guess he took it that way and so then he really did shut me out. I regretted it and wish I had done things differently but I feel kind of like the outcome was inevitable. And seeing how he has acted since then I think he just wasn't ready to love me or be with me and it wouldn't have been good if we had gotten together.
This morning I woke up feeling like I was in a dream, even though I haven't talked to my ex in two months it feels like it has been longer than that.
I get the feeling you had some sort of communication with him in dream-time and/or you probably looked ahead at the future and that's why it feels like it has been longer.
Please read my thread titled "don't give up hope," there is a rare Black Moon transit happening now until June 26 that can stir up our worst fears and make us lose hope. Things are not what they seem to be right now. This may not be the best time to do anything, other than work through what you are feeling. *hugs*