The Definitive End

[melancholia]

So my story of psychics has been a long one, and spanned several men over the past...geez, seven years now.   I started calling about a vet with PTSD who I was told was my soulmate (and obviously that didn't pan out), then about a married guy that was basically the rebound from that guy (again, also a soulmate who was totally going to leave his wife for me if I just held out...for five years, and didn't pan out) , and  most recently about my - very soon to be ex - fiancee.  Even when the psychics would get close to an answer about my love life, they would ultimately wind up being wrong. 

So I'm about to go break things off with my fiancee in a couple of hours, once I get off of work, because I finally found what it is that I really want - a guy who really loves me and who treats me like a princess and has been chasing me for years but I've been kind of rejecting because...well, because of many reasons I don't want to get into right now.  I haven't cheated on my fiancee, but the guy did kiss me and asked me to think about things, and I have, and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone I can't trust, with someone who's cheated on me repeatedly and lied to my face and been breathtakingly irresponsible in just about every way imaginable.  So I'm ending things today, and I'm telling the friend I've been kind of pushing away that I'm willing to give it a chance, because I know I can trust him.

So.  Final tally.

There aren't many that I can recommend at all, but of the ones that I can give any credit to:

London - CP - only ever right with work predictions, but when she called them she was pretty correct.

Kisha (Aries Intuition) - Keen - Got a lot of things right in earlier calls when I would ask for a general reading and got short-term predictions right, but she gave conflicting ultimate predictions.  I don't know if I can really count her or not because she did say that I would get fed up and end things before things would truly get better, and that's technically true, but because she wasn't consistent in those predictions and they did contradict each other it's hard to say she was right.

LilaQ - Keen - Got all the bad aspects of our relationship right.  She picked up immediately on the other woman, she picked up immediately on his financial problems, she picked up immediately on what the other woman was going to do to him, and she knew that it was ultimately going to result in the fiancee losing everything.  And he has.  And I feel a little guilty because he's about to lose one more thing, but my therapist insists that it's not my problem and I really needed to have ended this a long time ago.

So.  With all that said and done, the only one I might have been "wow'd" by was LilaQ, and honestly...I'm not even sure I entirely buy that she has any sort of ability since I can't remember how much information I gave her in our first reading together, so I'm not sure if she remembered me for any calls after (regardless of changing accounts).   I'm not convinced that psychic ability is something that can be controlled or directed, if it exists at all beyond basic intuition, and I won't ever be calling a psychic again - this is me closing this chapter of my life and beginning to write the next.  To me, this was a complete waste - had I not been calling advisors, I'd have moved on from all three of these guys much sooner and while I might have spent more time single (or not, who can really say?), I think I ultimately would have been healthier for it.  That said, I wouldn't go back and change anything either, because I feel like the experience is part of what helped me grow as a person and learn what it is to be compassionate and thoughtful and also taught me how to use my judgment a little better.  I feel like I've actually grown from all three of these relationships...and as far as what I learned from calling psychics, well, they certainly gave my skills in coping with anxiety a workout, since that's all they seemed to breed - anxiety.  Sooo much anxiety.

FWIW, even if psychic abilities are real and controllable, I don't think we're meant to know what comes next in our personal lives.  Money and material wealth are human constructs, and I think that's why it's easier for psychics to see what's coming with jobs and work and business (assuming that's even a real thing), but love and relationships are spiritual ones, and I don't think they can be predicted.  I think by trying to predict it, by trying to anticipate what's coming, we're just destroying ourselves and making things worse.  If I had any advice to give, it would be that if you're having relationship problems, talk them out with a friend or - if they're really severe - invest in a good therapist that specializes in that particular field.  You'll spend less money and you'll get actual help instead of a lot of advice that is, at best, 50-50 on whether or not it's even true.

So. That's it for me.  I may pop by one of these days to update on how things are going with the new guy.  (Or whatever guy I end up with, even if it's the fiancee...who knows? I guess I'll find out the hard way. ) Otherwise, I think I'm pretty much done at this point.  It's been awesome talking to you guys and I hope everyone manages to find happiness, even if it ultimately isn't with the person they think it should be with (but bonus if it is! )  Thank you for the support and the memories, and I hope everyone can hang in there.

[Angelsaboveus]

Wow this came at a perfect time for me to hear....thank you for your words.  I too had spent the last 6 years calling psychics on 2 men.  Some were actually right, of course I didn't hear those advisors.  I read bc it was easier for me to be in a false pseudo relationship rather than face the reality.  Your words are inspiring and when you know your done.....your simply done right?   I'm so glad you are giving someone else a chance. It inspires me really and this k you so much for sharing.  It takes a great strength to leave someone, even when that person treats you bad.  I learned that recently.  We hang on because it is better tha being alone, and at our core we are lonely little creatures and all have a need to feel loved and accepted.  So don't beat yourself up for the time you spent (although I don't think you are), I've come to see that the experiences of staying have helped my personal growth and that is something is something I am truly thankful for.

Good luck to you!  Let us know how your story turns out!!!
 

[melancholia]

Well, it's been a little over a month, and I haven't even felt the urge to call once.  I'm still on speaking terms with the ex, but that's as far as it has gone.  The current boyfriend (the friend I finally gave a shot) has been amazing, things are going better than I've ever had them go, and despite my (pretty serious) trust issues I'm mostly able to trust him without too many issues (though there have been moments and he's been amazingly understanding).

This is probably a sign that the relationship is healthy.  In all the previous ones, the need to call was fueled by an unhealthy relationship - my most recent ex, I had started calling shortly into the start of the relationship, and I think that was because I was already seeing red flags even then.  This time around, not only have I not felt the urge to call, but I've actually felt an aversion to the idea - like, on the rare occasion someone has asked me whether I've spoken to any "advisors" about this guy, my response has been borderline disgust at the idea...that's something I've never experienced before.   It led me to believe that maybe the urge to seek out help from these "advisors" is a red flag in and of itself - we know something is very wrong, that the relationship is healthy, and that maybe we either shouldn't be in it or that maybe something needs to change, but because people are all programmed to resist change we turn to these people in the hopes that they'll tell us everything will be okay without us actually having to adjust anything.  Maybe if the urge to call comes up in these relationships, it's better to either seek help from a relationship counselor or, if it's still new (or the partner is unwilling), just walk away and find something healthy.

Those are just idle thoughts I've had of late.  I know that not everyone's situation is the same and presuming to understand anyone else's motives for calling is ridiculous, but I felt like it could be interesting food for thought.

So the new relationship is amazing.  He's not just understanding but also kind of has his stuff together, if you get my meaning.  He's clearly not just interested in a physical relationship, and we've already had the, "what direction do we want to take this, are we both interested in marriage and kids, what would living together look like, please don't make me get a cat because I'm a dog person for a reason," talk (which would seem fast except that we've known each other for so long prior to dating that it kind of makes sense, and we're not planning on taking action on any of these things RIGHT NOW) (also, not knocking cats - I'm just super allergic and also most cats I've met have been jerks with only two exceptions who were super sweet and this is a tangent I should end). Communication is incredible - he's very open, and I've gotten much better about not holding back what I'm thinking/feeling (though I still have some work to do in that arena). Evidently this is what a healthy relationship looks like, and I'm really starting to think that I've never actually been in one.

I really hope everyone who is still caught in the obsessive calling cycle is able to break out of it, even if you still choose to call sometimes for updates, and that you are able to get to a place where you no longer feel that need.  Believe me - I know that feeling, and it's awful.  It's like you're not in control of your life anymore, and it sucks.

(Just as an aside, and I can't remember if I mentioned this in any other post but it just popped into my head - before I agreed to go out with him I did briefly ask Kisha about my current boyfriend prior to the ex's marriage proposal and she said she didn't see it going anywhere, that it was idle flirtation and that he wasn't ever serious about it, and that it'd pass and we'd be back to barely talking by the end of November.  She was dead wrong.  He is (and apparently has been) very serious.)

[bstalling]

Excellent post! Thanks for sharing.

I do believe that more people call psychics because we see more red signs than rose petals. And it can get pretty easy to get sucked into the calling. Even when it is not romantic..work, school, friendships etc etc. A part of me wonders just how healthy it is to call psychics period, then another part of me genuinely enjoys the insight, conversation, and predictions that sometimes manifest. It is a fine line to walk.

I don't particularly feel addicted to readings anymore..but I do enjoy calling and trying new readers. It can be very entertaining. Just the other day I called two different readers for a sort of a look into the new year in general. Both mentioned something really unusual about providing some sort of Feng Shui service for people moving into new homes. Of course, these were readers on two different sites, so no infosharing. Then it just makes you wonder and get a little excited that they can see this new thing for you.

I'm glad Kisha was dead wrong for you. Just goes to show you that you have to take what these readers say with a grain of salt, put your best foot forward in all situations while still taking measures to protect yourself from loss. And pray. That is all you can do really...

[Confused]

Hi, Kisha use to be 50/50 accurate with me but now nothing much I can say is correct. I've gotten readings which where contradicting so I can't say they were right. Knowing this I don't know why I still call her.

I'm very happy for you melancholia.