Okay, first and foremost - this is a
snark-free zone. I'd appreciate it if, should
anyone decide to get snarky on this topic, that everyone just ignore that person until they chill out.
This is
not about any specific individuals. But let's be real here - I've been on this board since 2011, and while I'm not by any stretch one of the earliest members I can't deny that we do have - and have
always had (from my perspective) - a problem where, periodically, we'll butt heads and it turns into an explosion. I've been known to participate myself - I think we all saw that over the last couple days and back in...I think it was September? Prior to whatever that Tarotti nonsense was? Or immediately following? (I'm being sloppy and not looking back. Sorry.)
After being able to take a night to decompress from everything that's been going on (not just here, but in general) I was able to clear my head enough and realize, okay. We're all here (in theory) for the same reason.
No one is here because they like conflict or getting stressed out. But it doesn't change the fact that we're going to keep butting heads with one another.
We don't have a moderator at this point. I don't know if we ever can
get one, and I don't know what Healer's status is. So here's what I'm proposing, and I'm asking
everyone's input on this. (And again, please keep it
civil. For the sake of this one topic, set aside whatever has happened in the past and any resentment you may or may not be holding onto.
Everyone.)
First, I think we should come up with a list of requests for features for Healer should he return. That doesn't mean requesting that certain individuals be banned, because the whole point is to try to make this entire environment more civil, and requesting bannings isn't the way to do that.
For instance -
1.) I would like to see a block feature. It sucks when you feel like you need to block someone, but it's better than perpetually getting into fights with that person when it's become clear that you're not going to be able to communicate with one another without it turning into a fight.
2.) I would like an impartial mod, someone that has managed to keep their cool in all of these...let's call them "instances" and not engage or, at the very least, not take sides. That obviously rules me out, so please don't mistake this as a petition to make me mod. That would be a
terribad idea at this stage.
In addition to these suggestions, I think we should try to,
as a community, without excluding anyone, draft some guidelines for conduct beyond what we currently have, because what we currently have isn't really working, and agree,
as a community, that if someone breaks that code of conduct we will not allow it to escalate and will simply not engage that individual until they calm down.
For instance, and I'm spitballing in a little bit of a stream-of-consciousness way here:
1.) Person A makes a post. Person B replies or asks something about it that Person A
could construe as offensive or as a "challenge." Then the appropriate response is for Person A to calmly state something along the lines of, "I feel like I might be taking your comment the wrong way. Can you please explain what you mean by that?" And then Person B calmly explains what they meant. Person A can then calmly respond or not, at their leisure. If Person A decides not to respond, Person B does not pursue further.
2.) Personal conflicts are kept to PMs. If someone feels that someone is speaking to them harshly or unfairly and wants to address them, they don't do it in the middle of a thread. They instead PM that person directly. It won't prevent bad feelings between individuals, but it will prevent what we've been seeing.
Those that don't comply with whatever we,
as a community, draft, then we simply refuse to engage them in conversation until such a time as they begin to comply with the standards set forth by the community.
Does that make sense? I would like to see some feedback to this because while we'll probably disagree on the reasons why this environment has become a breeding ground for toxic behavior, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that yeah, each post now brings with it the potential for an explosion, and when you consider just how emotionally vulnerable some of us can be at any given time when posting (since otherwise there'd be no need to even call psychics), a toxic environment is counter-productive. Yes, it's a psychic review site, but let's be real for a moment - it's become a lot more than that.
I don't feel like excluding anyone - yes, I really do mean
anyone - is a solution, even though I support a block feature, and I think that we all know that simply voicing the problems we have with each other isn't solving anything either. So let's just take a moment to move ourselves outside of the internal conflicts we've been having and let's try to find impartial solutions that can be implemented across the board as a community.
As for me, I do apologize for the role I've played. I've been overly defensive of what I've been seeing, and coupled with everything going on that's kept me on edge, I acknowledge that I've been out of order in the way I've handled things. I think we all know that I'm not the only one in that boat. I'm not asking anyone to step forward and take responsibility for their actions here, though. All I'm asking for are ideas, from
everyone, to make this better.
(One more apology: I'm so sorry I'm abusing the glow feature. I probably won't stop, because its rediscovery is making me happy, but I'm sort of sorry for my lack of self-control in regards to pretty lettering. <3 )