Confusion

[sagitira]

I would do anything now for being able to walk away like you did zee...anything! sadly how do you step back if you work with the person? in same office? wanting to move on but his presence constantly reminds you of what we could have had, what I don't and can't have - granted feelings are on both sides but he is not available...I wish I walked away from the situation a year ago...but I decided to hang on because all readers told me so - I found it was the biggest mistake I have ever done because I know the journey of me moving on will be much longer then it would have been a year ago...

[Bark angel]

sagitira,
Did you hang on just because readers told you something would materialize, or was it because there was a little voice inside you that agreed with or hoped that what the readers were telling you would happen would indeed happen?  I think there is a distinction to be made here.

[sagitira]

bark angel I waited because of both:
1. readers were saying he will break up with his gf and his heart is with me but doesn't wanna hurt the other girl but is not in love with her
2. I felt from his actions he does love me and he does struggle to make decision, at the beginning I felt there could be something and he showed signs that he was gonna leave her. but now something happened (the girl did something) that would make it very hard for him to leave (wish there was pm function as I don't wanna go into too much details) but now I feel like there is no chance of us being together but I'm stuck now as I have to work with him. (I cannot leave my job, serious reason why I can't)

so yes to me I feel like I wasted over 2 years waiting for this guy...

[sagitira]

this is why my advise was not to put yourself in a situation where you are waiting for years for that one guy. from what I read and heard it's not very often that the guy leaves his current gf for the other woman. I might be wrong I don't know but if I could do it all over again I'd be running as far away from my guy as possible just to avoid the pain..

[Zee]

sagitira,
Did you hang on just because readers told you something would materialize, or was it because there was a little voice inside you that agreed with or hoped that what the readers were telling you would happen would indeed happen?  I think there is a distinction to be made here.

It sounds like you are saying the same thing here.  Whether she was told or whether she wanted it kind of merges into the same thought, doesn't it?

Work romances are hard. I've done it. But Only Once and the hardest part is after the breakup, the stares, the whispering.  It taught me to avoid relationships at work altogether.

And although it's seems true "it's not very often that the guy leaves his current gf for the other woman." It does happen. I'm not trying to get anyone's hopes up, but I know of at least two situations where the man left his wife for the other woman. I don't know all the particulars, but out of one of the two mentioned, I even said he would never leave the wife, but he did. It was many, many, many years afterwards though.

My only concern for sagitira is that she may have been influenced by what a reader saw (some possible outcome) instead of making her own decisions.  It's difficult not to do. I know.

[sagitira]

yes i'm sure i was influenced by what readers saw. honestly cause i wanted to leave him long time ago. i stayed because of false hopes. you know the thing is i never wanted relationship with work colleague and he wasn't my colleague at the beginning. only later sadly...

wish someone had a recipe how to get over someone who you have to see daily, guess time is the best healer here..

[BellaLife]

@sagitira.... My last relationship was with a co-worker, who was with his live in gf, and when he started working where I am at now he used to complain how unhappy he was.  Well we started talking, then flirting and somewhat eventually dating, she found out and they broke up and he moved out. Although we were dating, something was not right in my gut, I knew he was still into her and seeing her. Well I finally could not stand it anymore, and dodged all his calls. When at work I played the friendly phony part, like hey good morning, how are you (inside my heart was hurting) but all be damned I refused to let him see it.

So many psychics said no way are they getting back together, but a few outright told me they would get back together and get married. They did get engaged, we did not get back together, he is still a rat. I think they still have the problems they did before. But who cares!

CP/Leslie: Said forget him they are talking marriage....I was like no way...he said he is soooo over her...he is a liar.
he cheated on her 2 other times during their many years of living together.

CP/Reba: Same prediction as Leslie!

Too many psychics to list said that he is over her and will be with me. Thank goodness they were wrong!

[sagitira]

@BellaLife
thank you for your post it really helped me. i admire  you for being able to be nice to him at work even though insight you must have hurt. oh gosh i'm sorry you had to go through this. maybe i need to get that strength to do same and try to control myself and not let him see i am hurt. worst part is i have noone i can talk to about this so at home i think too much...

wow..sadly for some reason i am not able to create account on cp (i'm not in usa) not sure if it would work. those are the readers i wanted to try who are not afraid to give negative prediction. i only came across a couple who did this for me.

just wondering how much longer till i am over this jerk...

thank you for your comments.

[BellaLife]

@sagitira....you're welcome! I know it hurts, and I wish you the best, I feel for you.....   I had a couple of family members who I complained to, (useless) because I guess I complained to much because they basically got tired of me complaining, (they offered no comfort or advice)  and I got tired of calling psychics and wasting my hard earned money calling about his sorry ass...lol.....while he was probably spending his on her. Guess my self esteem kicked in.....looking back I wish I did not spend all that money calling about him.

Maybe if I can offer some advise, try and go whats in your gut, your feeling. Because if something is not feeling right in a good way in your, then it probably is not.

[sagitira]

will do bella, thank you for feedback and advise. I'm trying my best now

[Calypso 13]

Check out baggagereclaim.com

there are a lot of good articles including being the other woman. This site has helped me tremendously in multiple dating situations.

My ex had finally come around again in the right way, admitting his issues and it's the epitome of emotionally unavailable. He then left again after 2 months because of the same...and I'm officially done now.

[sagitira]

calypso thank you I wanted to pm you but can't yes baggagereclaim is what helped me a lot. I was down and it really opened my eyes. I'm reading through it daily but wanted to talk to you about something you posted. is there a way to email you?

[Calypso 13]

Yea it's a good site.

I don't feel comfortable posting my email address, but if you are ok with posting yours, I'll shoot you an email.

[sagitira]

calypso, that's great, i just created a dummy email address if you can email me that would be great, it's babyjoanna19@hotmail.co.uk
thank you