Want to chip in, if you are actively talking to a man and he's not contacting, you need to do your due diligence to also contact him unless he’s unresponsive then I’d say let the chip fall! A relationship should not be one sided where a woman expect a man to do all the work. Also, if I were a man and you come at me like that all the time with demands, I will move on to the next woman who is more understanding and doesn’t make everything dramatic.
One of Yona predictions is happening since July 2019 Yona said that my POI will go quiet she didn’t say why . I’m Jan Yona again said that POI and I will not be speaking and then we meet up . Since November poi and I talk everyday . Well, I have not heard from poi in the last three days and I will not be reaching out to him . When he decides to resurface I will let him know that I find this behavior unacceptable and the next time that he decides to do it he shouldn’t even resurface because he will be blocked and cut off . To me communication is everything he can easily send a text that he’s not in the mood to talk or etc and if he’s not able to do that then he needs to leave me alone
When he reaches out again don’t bring it up don’t even start an argument.
Why not? Because she might scare him away? I think she should set boundaries on what's ok and what isn't. That isn't starting an argument, it's respecting herself. I think most of us wouldn't be here if we set boundaries and expectations from the beginning.
Agreed, but my assumption (maybe incorrectly) is that she did reach out and he went silent. It does go both ways. 👍
Thanks guys. So I never reached out to POI because I honestly refuse to put myself in that position. I feel like if you speak to someone often and then all of a sudden they disappear then that means they don't want to talk. When I say disappear I mean not communicating not in the sense of them ignoring my texts (which can also be considered disappearing).
Today POI texted me. So now I'm thinking this is not the time that Yona is speaking about in regard to him going quiet. I thought it would have been longer than 3 days.
But he texted me saying hey, how are you? How was your weekend? I automatically told him you disappear for three days then ask how I am. He expressed that he didn't disappear and that he was stressed and was not in a good mood and that if I felt like he disappeared I should have checked on him. I told him , that to me that is disappearing . We speak often so for him not to communicate for a period of time is disappearing. I am empathetic to a certain extent until Im being treated in a way I feel I don't deserve. So I was not going to go out of my way to reach out to him when it was evident he does not want to talk. I told him he could have communicated that he was not in the mood and when he is ready to talk then I would have followed up with him on how he was doing.I also told him that I am sure he would not like if it was the other way around and I did that to him. He then said I was right, and he apologize and he shouldn't have taken his stress out on me and he will do a better job of letting me know when he is feeling stressed. This conversation matched up with Yonas prediction that she gave me till June. She said that I will be speaking up for myself when it comes to POI and that this will have a positive effect on the relationship.She said I have the tendency to be diplomatic which can give people conflicting messages. The cards show me with filter off and that I am expressing my feelings to POI.
So guys, set boundaries! I know for me I can not tolerate disappearing acts that is one thing that really gets me . I use to allow it in the past and I never spoke up for myself because I didn't want to push the guy away or feel like im clingy or a bad person. But this just caused the person to keep hurting me and declined my self esteem. If the person really cares and you speak up for your self they will not dismiss how you feel and if they do fuck them! Your feelings are worth being acknowledged
I'm with tellmewhy on this one. Communication is a two way street and I think it got to a point where you became expectant of him initiating messages to you everyday. There is nothing wrong with messaging him to check on him or see if he's alright. He could have thought that you didn't care for all you know. I made this same mistake in a past relationship. It was very selfish on my part. Men need to feel wanted and cared for as well. It can't be just one way. What if he had the same thought process as you when you said "I refuse to put myself in that situation". You two would probably never speak again. You might want to reconsider how you are viewing things. I could understand if you messaged him and he just ignored you for three days or even took hours to respond every time you messaged him. Then I'd say your position on the matter would be justified.
As a guy I am going to chime into this a bit. Communication is a two way street like tellmewhy said. Why should it always be one sided on who initiates the contact? That is just childish and if you want to talk to someone then reach out and see what they do. If they respond great. If they blow you off then maybe question their motives on why they didn't respond.
I also want to go into him not talking to you for three days. What is really the big deal there? Yes you talked everyday for a few months but as a guy we can easily get caught up in a bunch of things that can keep us from talking to you for a few days. We can be very motivated at times to get a bunch of things done. Like maybe he was doing some construction project at home or decided to just hang out with the guys. Life can get in the way and it doesn't sound like either of you are married or living together to make it easy to just chat for a few seconds. This is why you need to question the reason as to why you didn't talk.
To me if I hear that I need to talk to someone everyday, I get a very codependent vibes from a girl and will actually make me want to pull away from them. If I have to initiate the conversation everyday as well. Then I can get a feeling of walking on eggshells. Because next I will be monitored on everything I do from quick messages or "check ins" that I am not doing something you don't like and if I didn't do those then I must be up to no good. If I don't happen to feel like walking on eggshells than I can get to the point of like does this person even care about me that I always have to start things. I will say that if I really care about someone when I am dating them. I do make it a point to try and talk to them just before I go to bed. It might just be a simple text telling them I am heading to bed and how I feel about them. I don't expect a response if they are already in bed but for me that is just me letting them know I am thinking of them even if we didn't talk. Sometimes though life does get in the way or I am just extremely tired that I didn't do it.
Sometimes it is okay to take a break from each other. It can build a healthy relationship as taking some time apart can make the heart can grow fonder. There is scientific evidence of this. As married couples take about have a girls/guys only weekend. That is essentially a break from each other. It maybe only a few hours or in some cases it could be over the weekend if they are doing a trip. Think of a guys fishing/hunting trip or a girls weekend of shopping. They have shown that those little breaks help build that bond with you more.
