Relationship Psychology Discussions > Connect With Others

What is right when it comes to dating?

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allbitenobark:
I think mourning for only one week after a break up probably means that relationship didn't mean that much to begin with.

As far as the number thing...I've had guys ask me for my number in front of groups of people usually consisting of my friends or their's and I guess because I'm not the type to body slam someone's ego publicly and humiliate them I have felt obliged to give them my number. Also, my job is very social, I get asked for my number all the time for freelance projects that sometimes later becomes obvious that they were trying to get closer to me. Anyway, I'm just giving those examples because I think your view on number exchanges is very black or white when IMHO it's various shades of grey.

Miss Synergy, I couldn't agree more. I LOATHE DATING. I'm terrible at it and its so tiresome. Since my last break up I've dated 3 men that I thought had potential. Two at least were a colossal waste of time and the 3rd I'm still holding out on the verdict. Either way, I'm bored and exhausted and I think I enjoy my own company solo more than I like the torment and rejection of dating.

sanfranDave:
Well it seems everyone pretty much agrees with "first" through "fourth" just not "1" and "2" ;p

"I think mourning for only one week after a break up probably means that relationship didn't mean that much to begin with. " -decibel.diva

Yeah that's why I said "at least" a week.  I've seen girls just pick up immediately with their new guy after being in relationships lasting years.

Sometimes I think girls just think guys are replaceable.  I've heard the quote, "Guys are like buses. There's another one every 30 mins." (I've also heard the one "Girls are like parking spots.  All the good ones are taken or handicapped" ;p)

To me a date-able girl comes around once every 3 or 4 years!

Thank you all for replying, any other thoughts on how dating should be?

hope4love:

--- Quote from: sanfranDave on September 22, 2013, 11:25:16 PM ---Well it seems everyone pretty much agrees with "first" through "fourth" just not "1" and "2" ;p

"I think mourning for only one week after a break up probably means that relationship didn't mean that much to begin with. " -decibel.diva

Yeah that's why I said "at least" a week.  I've seen girls just pick up immediately with their new guy after being in relationships lasting years.

Sometimes I think girls just think guys are replaceable.  I've heard the quote, "Guys are like buses. There's another one every 30 mins." (I've also heard the one "Girls are like parking spots.  All the good ones are taken or handicapped" ;p)

To me a date-able girl comes around once every 3 or 4 years!

Thank you all for replying, any other thoughts on how dating should be?

--- End quote ---

I think the other ladies have said it all so I won't elaborate any further.

I agree with decibel.diva that if your mourning period for a relationship is one week, then it didn't mean very much to start with.

As for women who pick up with a new guy after their long term relationship ends, I'd hazard to say that they're on the rebound, looking to fill an empty void or seeking validation that they still have 'it'.  I do think men do this much more so than women do but it goes both ways. And yes, women also hook up with a guy considerably younger after the end of a marriage/long-term relationship like men do as well. 

Personally, I've been with someone for the sake of it and because I was bored, didn't want to be alone, etc. I've learned that I'd much rather be on my own than in a situation that didn't make me happy.  Being with someone and wishing you were single is one of the worst things to deal with yet so many people do this because they are afraid of being on their own.

As for dating, I hate it and haven't been on a date in eons.  I'm also much more particular about the men I choose to go out with so that's a large part of it too. 
Are you looking to date for the sake of it? Or are you looking for a long term relationship? If it's LTR you want, don't settle or waste your time with someone where you know there's no future.
The best dating advice I can think of is 'be true to yourself'. Live your life with joy and passion and doing the things that make you happy without the idea of looking for romance.  I think if you follow your true path, then you will start to encounter the people who are of the same ilk that you are seeking. Don't try to pretend to be something you're not because the truth ultimately comes out.  I think this is where a lot of relationships fail because both parties are putting on a false front in order to impress the other. 

Yes, it probably means being dateless for a while. But remember all those dates that were boring or pointless?  That's time you'll never get back so spend your time with people who matter.
For myself personally, I find a man who is confident and comfortable in his own skin very attractive and sexy, even if he has an average physical appearance.  Looks fade and it's the characters that matters in the end.
Be proud and confident of who you are and eventually the right person will come along. I think if the chemistry and click are there with the right person, it will feel very comfortable and natural. You will know because things won't feel forced and things will progress naturally. 

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