Relationship Psychology Discussions > Connect With Others
What is right when it comes to dating?
sanfranDave:
So I've been wondering if my idea of dating is warped or naive.
First off, I don't think you should do anything sexual with a person before you are exclusive. This is how STDs are spread IMO.
Second, you have an obligation to a person to give a clean break up to them. ESPECIALLY if you have EVER said "I love you" to them (and only say that when you mean it btw). Too many are cowards and simply cut communication.
Third, if you are with someone, you don't mess around with other people. NOT EVEN KISSING!
Fourth, if you break up with someone, you give it a mourning period of at least a week before you pick up dating someone else. Gives you time to reconsider or the other to make their case.
Also need a female opinion on the following:
1. Girls should accept more dates, even with guys they don't think they'd like. I say this because I get overlooked because I live in a college town and I'm 34. Pretty sure I can show them a better time than their little college boys can. If you don't kiss on a first date this is viable.
2. If you give a guy your number you are agreeing to show up for a single date. I've had too many flake before getting them on a date.
Am I TOTALLY off base here? And what are your thoughts and additions.
lioness79:
# 2 is way OFF!! A girl owes you NOTHING for giving her number to you. Where does that sense of entitlement come from? Why does a girl HAVE to go out on a first date with you if she gives you her number? I've given my number out plenty of times and later regretted it. Fortunately, those guys usually don't call, but if they did, I would feel free to ignore them.
Synergy:
--- Quote from: lioness79 on September 22, 2013, 06:12:52 PM ---# 2 is way OFF!! A girl owes you NOTHING for giving her number to you. Where does that sense of entitlement come from? Why does a girl HAVE to go out on a first date with you if she gives you her number? I've given my number out plenty of times and later regretted it. Fortunately, those guys usually don't call, but if they did, I would feel free to ignore them.
--- End quote ---
I completely agree with lioness on this one.
Also, I don't think women should simply accept dates for the sake of dating. I am often told to do this, as I don't date much, but I don't get the point. Yes, I'll admit it's best to have more options and to allow yourself to get to know someone, as they can grow on you/surprise you, but sometimes you just know you're not into the person. Why lead someone on? And, yes, even just going on one date can lead someone on... I mean, you perceive women who give you their number as being required to go on a date with you. Imagine how some men must feel once they do get a date. They may think that really means something. They may think the woman is really into them, when in reality, she just wants a free meal. I just can't do that. I won't go on a date with a guy if I know it's simply not there.
I just don't think there are any real concrete rules, as much as people would like there to be. We all date differently, and that's ok. I think it makes you appreciate the right person more once they do come along. At least that's what I'll tell myself because, personally, I think dating is awful. It's so unnatural and uncomfortable. I always seem to meet the men I end up dating in social circles or am friends with them first... that doesn't work for everyone, but it's better for me because I hate dating so much. To each their own! It merely proves you can't have the types of expectations you list in your post.
Welcome to the forum, by the way! :)
sunandmoon:
I'm with you Synergy, I hate dating and meet people either through work or doing things I like to do. I also don't give my number to anyone unless there is a reason for it. Asking me for it is not reason enough!
sanfranDave:
@Synergy: Thank you! ;D
" I also don't give my number to anyone unless there is a reason for it. Asking me for it is not reason enough!" -sunandmoon
(I don't know how to do the quotes thing)
sunandmoon: I COMPLETELY agree with you.
@lioness79: You shouldn't give a guy your number UNLESS THERE IS A REASON for it. Just don't give a guy your number if you aren't going to go out with him. It's leading him off a cliff. Guys don't do that to girls, at least I don't. I view it as BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS.
Also, I don't assume that if I get a single date that the girl must be truly into me. I view it as at least they were willing to view what I had to offer.
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