Curious about your thoughts on this....

[elcaliente]

For those of you that have been readings posts on this forum for a while, I think I can say most of us share a common interest .... we want to know if something is going to happen (oftentimes the return of a love, but not always, of course), and therefore turn to psychics to get a sense for what the future holds in that regard.  I believe we all realize that no one psychic is always correct, and that psychic readings should be treated as a *probable outcome* if things should remain on their current course and guidance based on that probability - not foretelling of a future that is carved in stone.  That being said, its important to listen to one's inner voice, consider the facts that are at hand, and use the readings as just one more tool to reference. The psychic readings should not carry more weight than any other reference and most especially if they contradict substantive facts or one's own intuitive powers.

When it comes to the question of whether a partner will return, I suppose it is also helpful to consult psychological resources that are readily available that discuss basic human nature and the role that plays in relationships.  In that regard, I've been reading resources that indicate that most men return, at one point in time, to a lover after time spent apart, and most especially when the individual that was left has ceased contact and given the impression that they have fully accepted the end of the relationship.  There are various resources that discuss how the "no contact" rule assists in maximizing the potential of a natural curiosity that lies in men, after they learn that someone they onced loved has shifted her focus away from them.  The predominant theme in these scenarios is that it's human nature to "want what we can't have" and I think all that are reading this post would have to agree that there is a lot of truth in that.  After all, most of us are here because we have lost someone dear to us, and we now want them back.

So my question is this..... If it is true that our human nature of wanting someone when it appears that we do not have them anymore really exists, and if getting psychic readings help us to not react to our emotions and to approach a situation from a calmer and more detached perspective, and to be able to let thing unfold naturally instead of trying to affect a desired outcome,  then shouldn't there be many more examples of outcomes that have been predicted manifesting in a positive way?

It would seem from readings most of the threads on this forum, that the general consensus is that only a small percentage of the psychics are right in terms of making a correct prediction for the final outcome. But why?  If human nature is such that people "want what they can't have" and normally act on that and make a u-turn, why are there not more examples of psychics being accurate about the final outcome of our situations?

Logically speaking, a larger number of people that are reading this forum should be seeing positive outcomes in their individual situations, if readings are being used properly and if human nature prevails.  I've also considered that perhaps it's also possible that members don't come back here to report on outcomes after they have manifested in a positive sense. 

What are your thoughts on this?

[elcaliente]

I'll add what I have wondered here to see if any of you think this might be a natural consequence of having psychic readings....


If you read about "No contact" rules in relationships and how it works, apparently, if someone that has been "dumped" chooses to make no contact with their ex, then it is said the ex will notice, sense that you may be gone, and then react emotionally to the prospect of losing them completely and reach out.  The other part of "no contact" suggests that when an ex *does* reach out, it is recommended that the person that has been abandoned take significant time in responding - if at all.

The percentages of success reported with this way of composing yourself after a break up are mind boggling.  It's said that there's a 90% chance that all men will return (if not for good, then certainly temporarily).   We know that even though the "no contact" rule suggests that the person gives off the idea that they have moved on, you know that the person that initiates "no contact" is still emotionally engaged.  You don't purposefully decide not to respond to an SM's contact unless it is a technique to evoke a specific reaction in them, and that naturally means that there sre still deep emotions in the person that has been dumped. 

Knowing this, it leaves me to wonder if the percentage of success with psychic readings is somehow being misrepresented because the vast majority of the people that get psychic readings don't come back to update once they have acquired the desired outcome and are too busy with their SMs to take the time to post here, or IF there is something that is occurring through getting readings that counteracts the distance that is being placed between the two individuals, which would normally derive a better than average positive result.

My question to the board was to see if anyone else wonders if getting psychic readings somehow conveys energy to the objects of our desires that otherwise they would not receive.  When the psychic tunes into your SM for information, is there a chance that the SM can sense that and therefore perceives us to be in contact, as if any lack of contact with you as not having even occurred???

Logic would say that one of the benefits of pychic readings is that you can get your dose of information without contacting the person you wish to reunite with..and as such a person that gets psychic readings is more able to sustain "no contact" than the average person that is not getting the benefit of a third eye to look into the situation.

[Furah2fun]

I can attest to the fact that having too many readings is unhelpful. It leads one to a state of desperation, and to believe a false reality. If a psychic says you will marry your ex, but you have not even heard from him in a year, I would trust the reality rather than the psychic. All we know is the reality from his actions and the present. Otherwise, one clings to false hope and may never move on.

[hope4love]

nm

[elcaliente]

Thanks for your comments hope4love.  And this is exactly what I was asking, because as a person that is normally inclined to look at the logic in situations, it occurred to me that the percentages of success should be higher than what is reported on this forum.  If that is not the case, then why? Your post confirmed my suspicion that the very act of getting psychic readings could indeed be postponing the inevitable. 

We are, for the most part, in the same situation.  Hoping for the return of a lost love.  Because we consult psychics, we are able to sustain longer periods of "no contact"...but why, then, is the basic human nature not kicking in?  Why do our lost loves not come running back, or creeping back, for that matter and at success rates that are more aligned with 80-90%, as studies have shown?  Yes, indeed, there is I believe a dynamic at hand that is diminishing our chances, and I sensed it had to do with the fact that perhaps the readings "tug" on the energy of the subject of our inquiry, and that, in turn, is interpreted as sustained interest on our part, regardless of all other means we are taking to project that we have detached.

It gives me renewed hope to cease the readings at this juncture.   I appreciate the insight they have given me into what is at hand and what I can expect, but to continue them just to get the daily/weekly update is actually counter-productive to my objective.

I'd rather embrace this concept which can be supported metaphysically, than to accept the suggestion to "move on".  Moving on, in my opinion, is akin to accepting defeat, or relinquishing any sense of self-esteem that we have still left at the bidding of some other being.  Rather, if one is to acknowledge this theory, one actually "takes control" over one's own energy.  In order to embrace this theory, all one has to do is preserve the energies, otherwise expended inquiring about the lost love, and turn them inward to rebuild the damage the separation has caused. 

It offers a two-fold benefit really.  Not only do we give ourselves the opportunity to be what we once were (which incidentally is why the lost love fell for us in the first place) but we also get to feel as if the process will "improve" our chances.  And before anyone chimes in with the notion that by doing this one is still holding on to false hope, I'll put this out first.  The process of regaining one's self esteem takes care of that, because as each new day dawns, and we are feeling progressively better about us, we begin to see things from a fresh perspective.  If Mr. Right returns we are able to view him from a position of "health" and self-worth. If not, then we are vivacious, attractive and confident people that others will be drawn to.  Either way it is more of a win-win opportunity than the status quo.

I say this too.  I am a firm believer in the Universe and that things occur at a particular time.  Perhaps all the delays I have been seeing are due to the fact that I have not repaired the damage that was the direct result of this rejection.  Perhaps the Universe considers that the relationship I hold in such high regard would be wasted if I were not ready when he chose to return.

Bravo, hope4love, I think we are on to something......

There is the school of thought that suggests detaching and focusing your energies somewhere (other than towards your ex or the object of your affection) will help shift things around.  The metaphysical theory is that the person who's receiving all of your energy and attention 'feels' it and subconsciously knows it; therefore he feels no need to reach out. Personally, I know when someone has been thinking of me because I get these thoughts in my mind.  We are all psychic on some level.

I think it also depends on the strength of the connection as to whether or not an ex will return. I know of a young woman who had been in love with someone since she was a teenager and after 7 years of pining and yearning for him, he finally reached out to her. (from halfway around the world too!) What made the change happen was a shift in her attitude and when she decided that it didn't matter if she never heard from him, boom! He contacted her and professed his undying love for her.  In case you're wondering, she hasn't agreed to anything with him (she's dating other men as well) and he's still in touch with her.

So yes, it can and does happen, depending on the situation and if it does happen, it may take several years. I've had past connections that never returned because there was no need and the connection itself wasn't all that deep and meaningful. 

But yes, accept the reality of the situation and not what a psychic is telling you may/can happen in the future. If it's meant to be, then it will be in the right time.

[hope4love]

nm

[elcaliente]

Indeed, I agree that one cannot force someone to do something that they, apparently, at this point in time do not wish to do. It's hard to view this process as a means to happiness, because as this time, happiness is what "used to be" and it is the loss of happiness that makes it so unbearable.  However, that being said, I do know that the love I have for my ex is true.  It's the reason I find difficulty in being angry with him, even though he has hurt so much in the recent months. In some way, I believe that he never had the intention to do so, it was just a natural and perhaps unavoidable consequence of the path he feels he must take at this time.

I hope that at some point in time he can recognize that as hard as this has been, and probably will be, for me to endure, that I did so without placing any more burden on him than he already bears. Maybe I could be viewed as being too kind, but if it were to be the other way around, and I were faced with the prospect of doing something that would cause him hurt of any description, I would appreciate that gesture too.

For now, as I embark on my journey to rebuild myself, I have the peace of mind of knowing that I did everything I could, during our 6 years together, to show him my love and support, and I did not allow myself to overreact from the emotions of the situation. I accepted what was dealt to me with grace and poise.  I hope that will leave him with fond memories of me.

[hawkgirl79]

Perhaps all the delays I have been seeing are due to the fact that I have not repaired the damage that was the direct result of this rejection.

I think this. I can only attest to my own experience and my instinct wants to refrain from making any judgments because it can come across condescending or an admonishment. I think two things are important to keep in mind:

1- You will heal when you are ready to heal. It takes time. The amount of time is different for everyone depending on the situation and the two people involved. You don't need to lose more self esteem over the fact that you haven't healed yet.

2. When you understand your worth, then you will heal.

I'm personally glad that my SM has not returned before now. I was not ready for it. It would have fallen apart again because I did not understand my worth. Now, if he returns, I will be okay. I will be okay if we're together and I will be okay if he walks out. Because if he doesn't have enough wisdom to value the special connection we have, then he isn't what I want. This is something I knew in my head I should feel but I didn't believe for a very long time. Now that I believe it, I'm empowered. Magic.

As to your original question, Smee, I've had a lot of the same thoughts. I think that people who do see a reconciliation do not post here. For one thing, they are busy with their SM, but I know for me personally, I would feel a bit weird about it if that happened to me. It's almost like gloating or being in a breast cancer support group and then announcing to everyone that it turns out you don't have cancer anymore. I just don't know if I would feel comfortable.

As to 90% of men returning, I bet this is true, but I also bet it's highly likely that most of them don't stick around. Human nature is to take what you have for granted and also, past behavior is a predictor of future behavior, so psychics can keep making predictions about contact, all the while raking it in, and the callers can keep clinging to hope with someone if they choose to.

I think it's true that when we call psychics the other person picks up on the radar on some level, especially if your guy happens to be highly emotional or intuitive himself. He may never know you called, but it could be creating an energy block. It's at least something to consider before calling, especially a lot.

[hawkgirl79]

I'm not sure if what I said prompted your last post or not, Smee, but I don't see any reason why anyone would question why you would meet with him to catch up. That sounds perfectly normal/reasonable to me. FWIW Sounds like you got some clarity and closure.

[elcaliente]

No, actually, I didn't gain clarity or closure really.  We did not discuss anything that pertained to what had happened between us, and there are so many things that have not yet been disclosed.  Perhaps that will come in time.  I indicated that what I did might not sit well with others because I am acutely aware of the notion that one should not slip into the "friends zone" if one hopes for reconciliation.  Since I do hope for reconciliation, I don't want that.  I can't put my finger on what his intentions were for the meeting.  Part of me wonders if he was simply testing the waters; part of me wonders if he was simply satisfying his general curiosity (although he did not get any information from me that would give him anything really to go on); part of me wonders if he just wanted to make certain that I didn't dislike him for what he has done; part of me wonders if he did it to appear to be the friend he claimed he dearly intended o be when he broke up with me...all of those questions are still unanswered.

And a month has passed with no further contact....

[Jonnie]

Smee2,
Awesome post!! I enjoyed reading it, so you didn't hear from him for 6 months, then a call ?? WOW

[Furah2fun]

Do you ever feel like you are lead to discover specific information at a certain time? That's the feeling I am getting right now. I found something out last saturday, my gut caused me to look for it. However, if I were to look today, the information is gone. I feel like there is a purpose in this.

 Does anyone have any experiences in this?

[jordie]

Absolutely True, this happened to me just as you said. The information I came across actually led to us getting back on speaking terms again. I feel that I was meant to come across what I did.

[Furah2fun]

Thanks Jordie. I feel so strongly about this right now, however, I am not sure what it ultimately means.